chapter 1
2006-04-13
heya peeps.
I've just written the first chapter and im very pleased with it. If you want to read it, just ask me on msn and i'll e-mail it to ye. I want as many people's advice as possible. Because that way i can find the problems before their lost within the text.
here's a small bit from the chapter for your tastebuds
She then extended her arms outwards and moved them upwards. It was a simple gesture but it made the Hariths shudder with fear. Cyrana was summoning her magic. She brought her hands down and then thrust them as if she was punching the air. The air flashed with magic and Faun was thrown against the wall. Cyrana turned her gaze on Gyrim, who bolted away, sprinting in the darkness. Now only the woman was left. Cyrana lashed out a bolt of magic, but it was met by a shield. Cyrana laughed, but it faded as she looked at the eyes of the female Harith. The eyes were dark red like the eyes of Harithia.
Obviously, i'll have to explain a few things so you can undersatnd them.
Hariths are the name i've given for the people that follow the Goddess Harithia. In the past, harithia blessed them with magic.
Cyrana isn't actually the character's name, it's an alias.
Gyrim is a Harith, one that sneaks in the streets and causes chaos.
Faun is a harith also, but he is a more powerful one than Gyrim.
The woman doesn't have a name because i didn't make one. She doesn't really need a name.
in case you are confused, Harithia is a goddess, in fact the goddess. She created Night and darkness. but, she isn't exactly evil. Later in the story, this is important.
Cyrana is a member of something called the Legion of Tharius. This is an army of the God Tharius. The second god of the World this story s set in. Where Harithia is dark, he is light.
If you want to ask any questions or want to give me some advice. Just plonk it in my guestbook.